Friday, February 6, 2009

Freaky Friday...

So, as many of you know, my hubby is most definitely NOT a morning person. Well, it just so happens that I have a 'condition' (read: personality flaw) that makes it nearly impossible for me to leave the office by 5 o'clock most days.

Because of our complimentary shortcomings, we had worked out a system whereby I get up every morning at 5 a.m. during the week to pull morning duty with the boys. I feed them, dress them, get them ready for school, etc., until 6:30. Then I take a shower and get ready for work. After that, I take the boys to school on my way to the office.

Jon picks the boys up in the afternoons and I meet him at home in time to help with the evening bottle, a little playtime and dinnertime chores. After that, Jon puts the boys in their pj's and a clean diaper and tucks them into bed. Then he goes to the kitchen and makes the bottles to go to daycare the next day.

Well, this is where it gets a little wild - are you sitting down? - we instituted what we call "Freaky Friday"! On Fridays, Jon takes the overnight and early morning drop-off shift. Then I take the evening shift so he can go to Happy Hour! Are we the most sickeningly cooperative couple you have ever seen or what?

It worked out great today, but today was Jon's 9/80 Friday. We'll see how it goes on a Friday when he has to work and he can't come home to nap! As for me, I really enjoyed the night off and picking them up was a nice change of pace.

I'm so glad we already have a system that is starting to fall into place! I know it's early days, yet, but I am feeling pretty optimistic. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my kids and I would love to be at home with my boys all of the time, I have lots of friends who do stay home with their children full-time and I have all the respect in the world for them - it is a massive responsibility to take on to be almost the sole source for your child's enrichment in the early years of their development, it is ALOT of hard work and very rewarding - for me personally, though, I do really find alot of value for myself in my career, too, and I am lucky enough to have found affordable childcare with people I trust and respect.

Because I feel secure about the people who care for my children while I am away from them, I would like to give having both a family and a career the old college try.

What surprises me is that some women I encounter seem to be openly shocked that I have gone back to work, even women who also have jobs outside of the home. It makes me wonder if my good mood about how things are going is just me being delusional. I guess maybe its because twins seem so overwhelming at first blush, I don't know...

A particular example from today finally gave me enough unsolicited opinions on the subject over the course of this week for me to have to post about it, against my better judgement. I'm not picking on this woman by any means, she was perfectly nice and I am sure she meant well, heck I may have even mistaken respectful amazement for disdainful shock but I do want to share with you all a small little taste of the kind of things I have heard at least once a day for the last couple of weeks, just so you'll have an idea of what I am talking about...In a way, I think it's the constant encounters like this that may cause moms who do choose to work outside of the home to question their decision.

There was a woman, clearly coming from some type of office job, who was picking up her child at school and she saw me loading the boys and said,

"Oh, I don't envy you!" (eyeroll - I love being me, who are you again?),

then "Oh, they're TWINS!" (ummm....Yeah?!? Actually people say this, all the time, I think the first comment had just sent me down the wrong road already and the question became annoying when it is usually somewhat amusing...),

then "and you're WORKING?" (again, yeah!?! I guess I should have said, no, I just like flushing $1700/mo down the drain so I can lay around at home by myself all day without the little ankle-biters intruding on my 'me time'...and you?)

The whole time, this woman is looking at me like I am out of my damned mind...(another eyeroll)...

I suppose everyone is entitled to their opinion, heck, I even WANT to hear what some people think when it is presented constructively, but I do wish that complete strangers would just compliment me for how cute my kids are and let me get on home to dinner and evening play-time. (grin)

Oh well, I am sure she meant well, and like I said, she seems like a nice lady - hopefully I'll run into her more and she'll get to know me better.

Thankfully, the folks at my office have been pretty supportive and kind to me about my return. They seem to be pretty excited that I am willing to give coming back full-time a try. Well, all I can say is 'week one - DONE!' It was a pretty good week, I think. We'll see how it goes from here on out - I'll keep you posted.

In the meantime, I can't wait to spend a weekend with my boys (who were very relaxed about me going back to work - this is a picture of them waiting to go to school on day one).

As promised (though a day late), at the top of the post are pictures of Brewer's Buddha Belly...ignore the dishevelled mommy. Below are pictures of the boys wearing some of their loot from Aunt Jenn Jenn. On the last pic, the boys made it clear that they had had enough! Have a great weekend!


Tracy said...

Oh my goodness, Lisa...they are adorable. Good for you and Jon figuring out things so you can continue working.

Try to go easy on that lady (and others.) I've made similar SNAFUs in talking to other women that I've regretted. I actually said to one MOM we know that "I didn't see the point in paying that much money to have somebody else raise my kids." I MEANT (in my head) that with my non-profit salary, the money we'd pay at day care would eat up the whole amount, but it came out as a condescending statement about her decision to continue working. I've felt like an ASS ever since.

Sometimes people (myself included) just don't think before they speak.

Geohde said...

The amount of really dumb stuff people say and do about twins never stops. I have a whole series of posts on it.

What amazes me is that people feel entitled to give assvice when they've only ever had the one baby. It IS Not The Same.

Oh, and I went back to part time work at twelve weeks pp. Nothing wrong with that. Mind you my husband doesn't want to use formal care, so the juggling is tough.


Sean Patrick and Emma Jane said...

There are so many days I would like to be able to go to work (outside the house) all day! Being a SAHM is great, and I wouldn't have it any other way, but its really tough! I work two overnights a week so that we don't have to pay for daycare, but there are days I wish I could get up, shower, and go have adult interaction! Oh wait, do the Wiggles count?

And Tracy, I am so guilty of saying the same thing! I felt so stupid after I said it because it came out wrong! I couldn't see the point of working full time to turn around and give my paycheck to someone else to watch my kids all day. It didn't make sense financially for us.

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